FHM # 36, September 2003

<b>FEATURES</b><br>
84 QUOTE, UNQUOTE<br>
SIMEON RICE<br>
If the NFL gave out a buck for every sack, he&#39;d be a 78 doltarnaire.<br>
86 PLAYING THE FIELD<br>
HEATHER MITTS<br>
They&#39;ve finally found a way to make soccer interesting&#8212;have girls play.<br>
94 FANATIC<br>
RAINBOW MAN<br>
Get inside the head that looks Like a multiflavored snow cone.<br>
102 INITIATIVE<br>
CONTROL HER MIND<br>
Mess with her horoscope, and you mess with a lady&#39;s psyche.<br>
106 JOY RIDE<br>
LEILANI MUNTER<br>
You&#39;ll never complain about women drivers again.<br>
114 20 BEST PLACES TO BE ON...<br>
GAME DAY<br>
A key criteria in the rankings: Ease of access to Cool Ranch Doritos.<br>
126 A NIGHT OUT WITH...<br>
JEREMY SHOCKEY<br>
With NFL players, it&#39;s all about the two S&#39;s: steak and strippers.<br>
128 COVER GIRL<br>
TARA REID<br>
She has a $100,000 watch and likes football. What more could you want?<br>
136 QUOTE, UNQUOTE<br>
GEORGE MALOOF<br>
Owning a casino is the best way to make money from gambling.<br>
<b>IN EVERY ISSUE</b><br>
30 LETTERS<br>
A female employee makes excellent use of her boss&#39;s desk, and an artist etches
Vida into his flesh.<br>
36 REPORTER<br>
Enterprise&#39;s Linda Park, bacteria-laden food, beer for the homeless and furniture made of women.<br>
63 REVIEWS<br>
Mini golf with Andrew W.K., plus sit-down chats with Barn Margera, LL Cool J and
Boris Badenov.<br>
139 FASHION<br>
Prepare to overhaul your wardrobe ,. after taking in our 24-page extravaganza
of cloth.<br>
168 MACHINERY<br>
Because no tailgate is complete without a good grill and tiny football players
painted on your fingers.<br>
172 GASOLINE<br>
Rolls-Royce revamps the machine lurking under the world&#39;s most-coveted hood ornament.<br>
177 BIONIC<br>
The Phillies&#39; Bobby Abreu divulges the secrets to his workout routine. Big green mascot not included.<br>
<b>ADDED VALUE</b><br>
82 BAR ROOM JOKES<br>
A tip for budding comedians: Take this page to your next gig and read it to the
crowd. When they still boo, you&#39;ll know the problem is your delivery, not the
material.<br>
182 TRUE STORIES<br>
Tales of extreme humiliation, topped off by a schmuck who found a new way to get
crabs from a night of love.