Maxim # 16, March 1999

<b>FEATURES</b><br>
82 HORROR<br>
HELP! THEY MANGLED MY PENIS<br>
Before letting anyone attempt to surgically add a few inches to your iggy, you&#39;ll want to read this.<br>
88 STYLE<br>
MADE YOU LOOK!<br>
Overcoats, shirts, and shorts that&#39;ll keep you covered whether this spring runs hot or cold.<br>
92 COVER GIRL<br>
ROSE McGOWAN<br>
In her new film, Jawbreaker, Rose plays a sexy, evil vixen who makes men do unthinkable things. Have a look and see what she makes you do.<br>
102 SENSITIVE RELATIONSHIP ARTICLE<br>
PICK UP WOMEN WITH A SOCK PUPPET!<br>
Opening lines are for amateurs. If you want to grab her attention, you&#39;ve got to do something unusual, entertaining, and surefire. Here&#39;s a bunch of suggestions to get you started.<br>
108 EXTRA(TERRESTRIAL) CREDIT<br>
THE SEEKER<br>
Art Bell believes in UFOs, ESP, government conspiracies, and bottomless pits.
So do the 10,000,000 people who listen to him on the radio every night.<br>
116 HAWAIIAN PUNCH<br>
Kelly Hu<br>
The karate-chopping star of Martial Law could knock you out and have her way with you. You wish.<br>
124 BIG MEN, BIG MUSCLES<br>
HERCULES IN VEGAS<br>
Strongmen from across the country converge on Sin City to toss cars around during America&#39;s Full Strength Challenge.<br>
134 THAT&#39;S ENTERTAINMENT?<br>
FUN THINGS TO DO WHEN YOU&#39;RE BORED<br>
69 useless, unproductive ways to amuse you<br>
138 MAXIM MINX<br>
KARI WUHRER<br>
This Sliders star can turn any hotel room into an alternate universe we&#39;d all love to visit.<br>
146 MAXIMUM SECURITY<br>
SUITS<br>
Whether you&#39;re up for parole or up for a promotion, you&#39;ve got a better chance of coming out ahead if you&#39;re wearing one of these.<br>
<b>COLUMNS</b><br>
56 DONE THAT<br>
SHIRTLESS MAN<br>
No shirt, no shoes, no service? Bullshit, says Christopher Davis, who makes bare-chested calls on banks, department stores, and car dealerships just to see what happens.<br>
58 BUCKS<br>
BUYER BE SNARED!<br>
Retailers use dozens of nasty little psychological tricks to get you to buy crap
you couldn&#39;t possibly need.<br>
62 SAYS HER<br>
SEX ED (AND BOB AND JOE)<br>
Dur gal Nancy answers your most &quot;penetrating&quot; questions concerning sex, relationships, sex, French maids, and sex.<br>
66 HEALTH<br>
WHY CAN&#39;T I CONCENTRATE?<br>
If your attention span is shorter than a four-year-old&#39;s, it&#39;s time to find out whether something&#39;s wrong with you or with your environment.<br>
154 STUFF<br>
WATTS UP?<br>
&quot;Let there be light&quot; is easy to say but probably won&#39;t get you results.
If you want to push back the gloom in style, check out this assortment of unusual lamps.<br>
195 TRAVEL<br>
BECOME AN IRAQI CITIZEN<br>
Anyone who tattoos Saddam&#39;s smiling visage on their butt gets in free!<br>
<b>DEPARTMENTS</b><br>
26 CIRCUS MAXIMUS<br>
What are the healthiest junk foods? Which Monopoly property will make you the
most funny money? Is Maxim magazine better than a tube of Maximus lubricant? These and other really important questions answered<br>
54 TOY CHEST<br>
Gadgets no grown-up three-year-old should be without<br>
70 HANG TIME<br>
Our cut-through-the-crap guide to the latest movies, books, and music<br>
160 INSERT CAPTION HERE<br>
A contest to see if you&#39;re as sick and twisted as our editors