Maxim # 24, December 1999

<b>FEATURES</b><br>
106 WE WANT ANSWERS!<br>
GABRIEL BYRNE<br>
End of Days&#39; villain rates Winona Ryder&#39;s kiss, tells us why? Schwarzenegger is a wimp, and clues us in on the women Satan would most like to bear his evil progeny.<br>
108 LISA MARIE<br>
ASTROBABE<br>
She sizzles in boyfriend Tim Burton&#39;s Sleepy Hollow, but in this photo spread, Lisa Marie will really make you lose your head.<br>
114 ACTS OF GOD<br>
KILLER CANYON<br>
Fifty-three hikers descended into a picturesque Swiss canyon. Nearly half met
a horrifically violent death. Get ready to hold your breath.<br>
126 FISHNET GAIN<br>
THE MAXIM LINGERIE SPECIAL<br>
While saucy author Elizabeth Wurtzel reveals women&#39;s lingerie fantasies, saucy model Amber Smith reveals so much more.<br>
140 BOSSES FROM HELL<br>
YOU&#39;RE TERMINATED! GET TO WORK!<br>
To keep you down, bosses all use the same sneaky playbook. Now you can beat them
at their own game.<br>
152 DEAR SANTA<br>
ALL WE WANT FOR CHRISTMA;<br>
What the world needs now is...karaoke bar fights, cheese bras, office hammocks,
and faucets that deliver beer. Is that really too much to ask?<br>
158 MARCHING ORDERS<br>
TONIGHT&#39;S THE NIGHT!<br>
Turn off those esdort ads on Channel 86 and get ready to go out, soldier. Do exactly what we say and you won&#39;t come back alone.<br>
170 COVER BABE<br>
LARA FLYNN BOYLE<br>
If lusting after the hard-hitting prosecutor on The Practice were a crime, we&#39;d plead nolo contendere.<br>
180 LAZINESS MADE EASY<br>
TOTALLY NO-GRIEF GIFT GUIDE<br>
&#39;Tis the night before Christmas, and you haven&#39;t bought anyone lia single present.
No problem...dial these numbers.<br>
<b>REGULARS</b><br>
34 LETTERS<br>
Keep on killin&#39; those trees!<br>
48 JOKES<br>
Collect them. Trade them. Use them to avoid meaningful exchanges with other men.<br>
50 CIRCUS MAXIMUS<br>
Scraping the bedpan of the American soul, we discover Barbie&#39;s hairy sister, made-to-measure pom, cities of toxic death, black booze, and a chain saw for joggers. Plus: Stephen King vs. Burger King.<br>
76 HOW TO<br>
Make her think your garter snake is really a boa, talk Kurt Cobain types off ledges, win a demolition derby, and survive a snowstorm in a way that would make Jack London proud.<br>
86 SAYS HER<br>
20 REASONS WHY SHE&#39;LL CHEAT ON YOU<br>
According to the studies, you&#39;ll wear the horns at least once in your life. Here&#39;s how to know&#39;if her light socket&#39;s about to go multi-plug.<br>
94 SPORTS<br>
HOCKEY BALBOA<br>
Some people call it violence when grown men beat the bejesus out of each other.
Bob Probed calls it art.<br>
100 DR. MAXIM<br>
IT&#39;S PROBABLY NOTHING...<br>
Is that a zit on your foreskin, or is gonorrhea just glad to see ya? Here&#39;s how to tell the difference between ailments you can ignore and ones that&#39;ll lay you in pine.<br>
199 FASHION<br>
ALL DECKED OUT<br>
Clothes that rule the tables at Vegas, tennis shoes you loved while growing up,
and watches that make as much time as they keep.<br>
225 GRINDER<br>
Under the gun: easy chairs that&#39;ll make your girlfriend flee, and online gold mines where you can sell the stuff she leaves behind. During the downtime, we look at Jim Carrey&#39;s Kaufman portrayal, eat road kill with Beck, and play driving games the Blues Brothers would love.<br>
252 BEAT THIS CAPTION<br>
Prove to us you&#39;re more twisted than we are and you shall be rewarded.