Maxim # 72, December 2003

<b>FEATURES</b><br> 108 WE WANT ANSWERS!<br>
HUGO WEAVING<br>
As Agent Smith in The Matrix and Elrond in Return of the King, Hugo Weaving will
rule geek conventions for years to come. But is he good or evil?<br>
110 COVER GIRL<br>
SHANNON ELIZABETH<br>
She gave dorks hope as a horny foreign exchange student in American Pie. Now her
moans turn to shrieks in the upcoming horror flick Cursed.<br>
120 SELF HELP<br>
IT&#39;S A WONDERFUL LIFE<br>
So another year has passed and you&#39;re still living over your parents&#39; garage?
Take our quiz and find out if your life is a steaming pile of donkey chocolate...or
not.<br>
122 YOU&#39;VE GOT MAIL<br>
CARDS OF THE STARS<br>
Celebs write cheesy holiday cards—just like us! Ashton submits his wish
list to Demi, Kobe tries to patch things up with Vanessa, and some stupid ones,
too!<br>
128 SPACE INVADER<br>
TRICIA HELFER<br>
In sci-fi&#39;s Battlestar Galactica miniseries,Tricia plays a seductive alien robot
who tricks a man into divulging military secrets that jeopardize Earth. And women
wonder why we keep our distance emotionally.<br>
138 PULP FICTION<br>
BRAIN CANDY<br>
Best-selling authors give us a juicy sneak peak at their latest thrillers. Plus:
Richard Grant introduces us to the open road and every trucke cowboy, and hooker
he met along the way.<br>
166 JUST THE FACTS<br>
EVA LONGORIA<br>
Finally, a reason to watch another cop show. The Latina beauty and Texas native
joins the cast of ABC&#39;s L.A. Dragnet. She can...damn! All outta night-stick jokes.<br>
<b>REGULARS</b><br>
28 READERS&#39; LETTERS<br>
This month lady readers wrote us about giving head and talking dirty.This sentence,
however, is superfluous.<br>
34 JOKES<br>
Your mama&#39;s so fat they gave her the group discount at Denny&#39;s.OK, your turn.<br>
38 CIRCUS MAXIMUS<br>
Strip Bingo, midget bartenders, talking dogs, and flying Austrians. Naked Olsen
twins pics? Maybe.<br>
42 PLANET MAXIM<br>
SOFIA RAAFAT<br>
Sofia tried to escape the U.K., but the limey dogs caught her in this giant net.
Well done, mates. We&#39;d untie her, but we can&#39;t stand up right now....<br>
60 HOW TO<br>
Got a girl? Learn to argue! Got an enemy? Make a voodoo doll! Jewish? Santa-proof
your home!<br>
68 SAYS HER<br>
&#39;TIS THE SEASON<br>
If the holidays are all about charity, why ain&#39;t you getting any nookie? Real
girls reveal five ways to take carnal advantage of the spirit of giving.<br>
74 SPORTS<br>
APPETITE FOR DESTRUCTION<br>
Competitive eating: all gimmick or athletic glory? Our writer heads to Nathan&#39;s
annual hot dog vomitorium to find out.<br>
80 INSTANT EXPERT<br>
KNEEL, EARTHLINGS!<br>
We&#39;ve got the official word on crop circles, alien abductions, UFOs, and Andy
Rooney&#39;s eyebrow!<br>
82 BACHELOR PARTY BIBLE<br>
BOOK 4: NEW YORK CITY<br>
Engaged? We can&#39;t help you, man. But we can run your ass ragged through the city
that never sleeps.<br>
90 HOT ZONE<br>
The king returns in the LOTR finale, and Tony Hawk goes Underground.<br>
96 HAVE YOU SEEN THESE GIRLS?<br>
TARA AND CHARLA<br>
They entered the Paradise Hotel and walked out $375,000 richer. As if you needed
another reason<br>
177 MAXIM FASHION<br>
The weather outside is frightful, but that&#39;s no reason to dress like a slob. Check
out winter&#39;s best coats.<br>
200 BAR EXAM<br>
Executive editor James Heidenry has visions of sugarplums dancing in his head.<br> <b> CHRISTMAS SPECIAL </b><br>
148 ANNUAL GIFT GUIDE<br>
KRIS KRINGLE&#39;S CRIB<br>
Where does Santa hide all the good stuff? We crashed Claus&#39; tricked out pad and found out who the real P.I.M.P. is.