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<b>FEATURES</b><br> 88 WE WANT ANSWERS!<br>
THE ROCK<br>
The big screen's baddest action hero lays the smack down on Ah-nuld's legacy,
rabid WWF fans, and coming out of the closet.<br>
90 COVER GIRL<br>
PARIS HILTON<br>
Overexposed? We hope so! Six pages of sizzling photos and revealing facts bring
yar&lr to America's rite"` hotel heipoothan your feeble mind can possibly bear.<br>
98 MAN'S BEST FRIENDS<br>
THE 125 CUTEST ANIMALS EVER<br>
They've made you laugh and made you cry.They've wordlessly touched your heart
in ways no human ever ould. Maxim salutes TV and film's cuddliest critters.<br>
106 DRAWN TO BE MILD<br>
MARGE SIMPSON<br>
She's every man's ideal wife: curvy, wild-haired, and willing to accept a fat, balding, drunk loser as her knight in shining armor, till death—or Patty and Selma—do them part. Mmm...Marge.<br>
108 SECURITY DETAILS<br>
THE WARS OF DELTA FORCE<br>
The government denies that the Army's top-secret Delta Force exists. But we can prove it does. Founding member Eric Haney takes you inside the elite unit's most dangerous missions from the past 25 years.<br>
118 LA BELLA MAFIA<br>
MARRIED TO THE MOB<br>
Allison Dunbar heats up The Sopranos as a Miami Mafia wife. More important, she's a self-proclaimed-visual lesbian."Whatever that means, it sounds damn lesbianish.<br>
129 LIFESTYLES OF THE LOATHED AND INFAMOUS<br>
OSAMA Q'RIBS<br>
The CIA can't find him. Special Ops can't find him. But we did. In a Maxim exclusive,
the most vilified man in the world gives us an all-access pass to his hideout.<br>
134 WORDS TO LIVE BY<br>
EXCUSE-O-METER<br>
Got a penis? Chances are you've never said the right thing to a woman. Until now.Our
experts will tell you how to avoid the cold shoulder every time you open your
mouth.<br>
<b>REGULARS</b><br>
16 READERS' LETTERS<br>
CANADA FIGHTS BACK!<br>
Our northern neighbor tries in vain to stand up for itself.<br>
22 JOKES<br>
THE TAXMAN COMETH<br>
Laugh now. After the 15th, life won't be so funny.<br>
24 CIRCUS MAXIMUS<br>
DICTIONARY FOR FRESH FISH<br>
Study up on everyday prison-yard lingo.<br>
36 MAXIM WORLDWIDE<br>
PAULINA FLORES<br>
This Mexican hottie has studied psychology to prepare for a life after modeling.
Start acting crazy now.ln a couple of years, this might be waiting for you on
the couch.<br>
46 HOW TO<br>
KILL BUGS<br>
Bedbugs biting? We'll teach you how to bite back.<br>
54 ASK DR. MAXIM<br>
CAN YOU AVOID GETTING STONED?<br>
Passing a golf ball through your bladder is just no fun.<br>
58 I WAS THERE<br>
THE ATM ATE MY CARD!<br>
One man's ugly war with the almighty cash machine.<br>
62 INSTANT EXPERT<br>
IMPACT!<br>
Call Mommy: An asteroid's comin'!<br>
64 SPORTS<br>
ATHENS, HERE WE COME!<br>
Meet our best chance for Olympic gold: the U.S. tag team.<br>
68 HOT ZONE<br>
DEVILS ADVOCATES<br>
Heliboy and the Punisher bring sadistic new meaning to the term "superheroes."<br>
143 MAXIM FASHION<br>
IN THE TRENCHES<br>
This spring the trench coat replaces the satin thong as the essential item for
men. Plus, spring clothes to clown around in.<br>
161 TOP GEAR<br>
CAPITAL PUNISHMENT<br>
We threw Hiroki on the rack to see if medieval torture is all it's cracked up
to be.<br>
168 BAR EXAM<br>
YOU'RE FAT!<br>
Find out how many slices of pizza you eat a year. Plus, executive editor James
Heidenry finally reveals what's behind door number two!<br>
<b>A MAXIM INVESTIGATION</b><br>
172 SPECIAL REPORT<br>
NO MORE SECRETS<br>
The conspiracy nuts were right! After winning a Freedom of Information Act lawsuit,
Maxim has accessed top-secret federal documents that reveal the truth about...
<br>
JFK: The Zapruder film has long been the main evidence detailing JFK's death,
but the Secret Service also shot footage that day. Why film a routine motorcade?
Find out inside.<br>
Amelia Earhart and Jimmy Hoffa: If both disappeared, then why does the government
have autopsy reports? Take a look...you be the judge.<br>
Roswell: In 1947 residents of Roswell, New Mexico claimed a UFO crashed outside
of town. The government said it was a weather balloon. We reveal why it was neither—and
both.<br>
The Dead: America's favorite running joke: Elvis and Hitler are alive and well.
They're not...but one of them lived nine years longer than you think, and you'll
never believe what he was doing.
Title: Maxim # 76, April 2004, Paris Hilton, Cover 1
Series: Maxim
Item Number: MAXIM076
Good magazine.