Maxim # 81, September 2004

<b>FEATURES</b><br> 132 WE WANT ANSWERS!<br>MICHEAL VICK<br>
The Falcons&#39; fast-as-a-mofo QB discusses the hotties of Hotlanta, brother Marcus,
and being the next Bo Jackson. Why are you just standing around? Go deep!<br>
134 COVER GIRL<br>
MILLA JOVOVICH<br>
The Fifth Element babe who seduced us wearing only surgical gauze puts on even
sexier outfits in her first Maxim shoot. Does she ever stop giving?!<br>
144 FATALITIES KILL<br>
DEATH AWAITS<br>
What do the birds and the bees have in common? Like your bookie, they want you
dead. Learn your chances of violently croaking today in this six-page tragedy
extravaganza!<br>
150 MIRCEA MONROE<br>
FOR A GOOD TIME, CALL...<br>
Sorry, Marilyn&#8212;we&#39;ve got a new favorite curvy blonde movie star named Monroe.
And unlike you, she&#39;s still alive! Oh, and the best part? She&#39;s from Fiji and
thinks machetes are part of a proper place setting.<br>
158 WAR GAMES<br>
THE SWAT OLYMPICS<br>
Ride along as special tactic units from police departments across the country
compete in badass contests. It&#39;s kinda like the regular Olympics, but with ammo
and testosterone.<br>
<b>REGULARS</b><br>
36 READERS&#39; LETTERS<br>
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?<br>
Our interns sit around all day and open your mail. Holla!<br>
42 DIE LAUGHING<br>
LAUGH, STUPID!<br>
See what the late-night rabble have to say about Kerry.<br>
46 CIRCUS MAXIMUS<br>
THE DONALD&#39;S BEST HIRE<br>
Meet Trump&#39;s apprentice, and learn why Brits are insane.<br>
70 INTERNATIONAL GIRL<br>
JENNIFER ELLISON<br>
This English TV tart is headed for musicals. (And you know they&#39;re our favorite!)
But for some odd reason she thinks guys who ask for her underwear are creepy.
Repressed limeys!<br>
76 INSTANT EXPERT<br>
RIDIN&#39; THE RAILS<br>
Over that embarrassing pirate phase? Be a poseur hobo.<br>
78 VROOM VROOM<br>
TRAINING WHEELS<br>
Get psyched to go into debt for your very first car!<br>
84 TEN BEST!<br>
AMERICA&#39;S TOP 10 MEAT HOGS!<br>
Nine thousand calories of sandwichy goodness.<br>
90 SMACKDOWN &#39;04<br>
THE TIME REGIME<br>
The real bosses of D.C.join forces to fight good.<br>
96 LIVER LET DIE<br>
MOONSHINE MANIA!<br>
Our writer remembers going to Ohio&#39;s hillbillypalooza...<br>
100 TROUBLESHOOTING<br>
WHAT&#39;S YOUR PROBLEM?<br>
When life gives you lemons, whip out this handy crib sheet. It&#39;ll at least tell
you how to avoid poison ivy.<br>
102 HOT ZONE<br>
MARTIAL SMARTS<br>
Jet Li and 18 billion things about the Star Wars DVDs.<br>
189 TOP GEAR<br>
GRAND THEFT AUDIO<br>
Tons of porn and other plug-in-ables for music fans.<br>
203 FASHION<br>
STYLE-O-RAMA!<br>
The season&#39;s best looks, the slickest suits as worn by the dirty doctors of Nip/Tuck,
and presidential makeovers we&#39;d like to see.<br>
232 BAR EXAM<br>
STILL HERE!<br>
James Heidenry&#39;s back, with half the carbs.<br>
<b>SPECIAL NFL SECTION</b><br>
168 NFL SMACKDOWN<br>
GAME ON!<br>
What would the NFL be without cheerleaders? A sausage party majora! Enjoy six
sweat-inducing pages of the hottest spirit-lifters ever.<br>
170 NFL SMACKDOWN<br>
GAME TIME!<br>
Bold Eagles-based redictions, plus Maxim&#39;s first annual Hot Dog of the Year award.
(Hint:The winner was fined $70,000 in &#39;03.)<br>
174 NFL SMACKDOWN<br>
2004 ALL-MAXIM TEAM<br>
These fellas run like jet planes, power like tanks, and throw like rocket launchers.
We drafted them for our team.