Maxim # 94, October 2005

<b>FEATURES</b><br> 96 INSTANT EXPERT<br>
FORT BRAGG<br>
We reveal all there is to know about the world&#39;s largest Army base (for instance,
were you aware it&#39;s home to Army Special Forces and a Hardee&#39;s?).<br>
104 DANGEROUS FIXES<br>
MISSION: POSSIBLE!<br>
If your girlfriend is I hairy and inept at oral sex, this is what you&#39;ve been
awaiting (hey, you deserve a break).<br>
104 UNDER THE INFLUENCE<br>
KILLER READ<br>
What do five serial killers have in common? This book...<br>
114 THREE ALARM CHILLI<br>
CHILLI<br>
The C in TLC and costar of R U the Girl explains why you&#39;won&#39;t get any of her
sexin:<br>
118 MUSIC MAP<br>
WHERE IT&#39;S AT<br>
See the actual places that legendary artists immortalized in song&#8212;and, yes,
we are going to Funkytown.<br>
120 ALL-ACCESS<br>
INTERNATIONAL GIRLS<br>
Check out DJ Sassy (p.120), lvana Stamenkovic (p.126), and Jasmin Wagner (p.130),
who show that one can be hot, talented, and foreign. Go figure.<br>
122 ANNOYINGEST SONGS<br>
THE MOST ANNOYING SONGS EVER!<br>
We offer a score of tunes that make you want to pop your eardrums. Welcome!<br>
128 LICK MY LOVE PUMP<br>
THE 11 MOST SPINAL TAP MOMENTS IN ROCK!<br>
David St. Hubbins honors that fine line between clever and incredibly stupid.
<br>
132 LOVE CHILDREN<br>
ROCK THE CRADLE<br>
Turns out there&#39;s a downside to sex, drugs, and rock&#39;n&#39;roll: illegitimate kids.<br>
134 FUTURE OF MUSIC<br>
WHAT&#39;S IN THE CARDS?<br>
We reveal if 2006 is the year polka goes platinum. (hope.)<br>
140 COVER GIRL<br>
VANESSA MINNILLO<br>
MTV&#39;s hottest VJ ever (sorry, Adam Curry) pays homage to the video looks of Britney,
Beyonc&eacute;, and Mrs. Guy Ritchie for our special music issue, featuring all
the sounds from the Stones to Spinal Tap.<br>
152 WE WANT ANSWERS!<br>
MICK JAGGER<br>
The Stone discusses a new album, a new tour, and why he&#39;s so darned proud of his
fingers.<br>
<b>REGULARS</b><br>
24 READERS&#39; LETTERS<br>
WHAT ARE YOU SAYING?<br>
Because our staff can&#39;t read minds. Except editor Scott Stein...He always seems
to know exactly when we&#39;re in the mood for a Taco Bell chalupa.<br>
32 THE FUNNIES<br>
LAUGH, STUPID!<br>
Brian Regan draws back the curtain on the sweet, sweet existence of first-class
airline passengers (those bastards).<br>
36 CIRCUS MAXIMUS<br>
SCAR BAZAAR<br>
Peep the unnerving injuries suffered by our brave soldiers and yak-tenders.Then
see an unexpectedly hot side of Martha Stewart, have your Halloween candy analyzed,
and hear Steven Seagal sing the blues.<br>
54 HOW TO<br>
HEAT UP HER HALLOWEEN OUTFIT<br>
And once she&#39;s crammed into that pirate costume, get with the majority by learning
how to be right-handed.<br>
66 BACKSTAGE PASS<br>
FOLLOW THE LEADER<br>
We join 2004 Nextel Cup champ Kurt Busch and discover what it&#39;s like to be in
a NASCAR race (it&#39;s really fast).<br>
72 CATCH AND RELEASE<br>
CAST AWAY<br>
The Raiders&#39; Randy Moss. Maxim&#39;s Diane Hill. A fishing boat. Aw, yeah.<br>
78 CELEBRITY ADVISER<br>
ALICE COOPER<br>
The original shock rocker offers responsible guidance. Except for the part where
he suggests you give rum to cranky infants.<br>
82 HOT ZONE<br>
HAVE YOU SEEN THIS GIRL?<br>
Rachelle Leah is the Ultimate Fighting Championship&#39;s ultimate ring girl (if you
doubt it, ask about the rhinestone panties), while Audioslave&#39;s lead singer, Chris
Cornell, tries desperately to make your iPod playlist less lame.<br>
154 TOP GEAR<br>
LA ZEE RIDER<br>
Take the misery out of your morning commute.Or just give your sugar mama a big
kiss and go back to bed.<br>
163 MAXIM STYLE<br>
SEASON OF ROCK<br>
We outfit a few of our favorite bands. Plus, check out these T-shirts for anyone
with a love of music and a torso.<br>
188 ASK US ANYTHING<br>
DO DOLPHINS HAVE SEX WITH PEOPLE?<br>
Even if they don&#39;t, you can still score with those slutty manatees.